Monday, April 7, 2008

Refuting my previous point.

Warning: I am not feeling at all creative this evening so this has the potential to be quite the boring post. My sincerest apologies.

I would first like to start by refuting a previous post of mine. Namely the one about Asian tourists. I take it back. I take it all back. American tourists are far worse. Here are several reasons why:

1. On saturday on my way into town I got onto the metro and sat down. I was listening to music and was oblivious to everyone around me until I sat down and pulled out my book. Ugh, what is that disgusting smell? I can't possibly read under these conditions. I looked up and realized that I was surrounded by boy scouts. All shapes and sizes of them. Every shape and every size, though, appeared to have the same non-existent hygiene practices. Take a shower once in a while, troupe 9 from Virgina Beach!

2. I had forgotten what it's like downtown DC during the summer months. I had forgotten what it was like to be in high school (and was happy about that). I had forgotten what it was like to have to decline dates to 16 year-olds. Today at lunch I had a cold slap of reality and was forced to remember. Carolyn and I went out to lunch at Au Bon Pain (hereafter "ABP"), which is one of our favorites...

Small digression: while I was ladeling (is that a word?) my soup, a rather pompous-looking woman attorney bumped my arm. The rather violent jerk that ensued caused me to spill scalding soup all over my hand, blackberry and wallet. It burned. Really. I have the red-tinged hand to prove it. She looked at me, then looked away. No "I'm sorry, did that broccoli cheddar soup singe your hand," no "can I help you remove the broccoli clumps from between the keys on your blackberry?" Nothing. Rudest attorney I've ever bumped into. Believe me I've bumped into my fair share, you can't walk 10 feet without bumping into an attorney in DC.

Alright, back to the loud, obnoxious American teenagers. Remind me to stay away from the food court at National Place. There are, invariably, hoards of teen tour groups (young ambassadors, trust fund kids etc. who think they're entitled) sprawling themselves out on the sidewalk. Besides providing entertainment (was I really that awkward as a teenager? --you're all thinking "um, YES") as I watch them when I eat, they're extremely inconvenient to my lunch schedule. Carolyn and I were trying to get back to the office after a quick window shopping outing, when we were suddenly surrounded. I looked around to see what could have been attracting them. Trinkets. AHHH, yes, the ever popular "I love DC" t-shirts and "FBI" hats. As every high schooler knows, you're automatically way more popular if you wear the DC or NYC t-shirt to school after spring break. Where was I going with this?

Oh, well, the surrounded us and we had to absolutely weave our way through the crowd (picture Steve Young trying to sprint through the defensive line-up of the opposing team, and you got it).

In the time it took us to get back to the office I had decided one thing: No, I was personally never ever that annoying as a teenager. Seriously people.

3. Not only is everything IN Texas bigger, but everything FROM Texas is also bigger. Texan tourists? Enough said.

4. No single nationality is louder than Americans. I want my city back!

5. This is, I believe, why Americans have a bad name.

Thanks to the cherry blossom festival. You can all see why the unmanageable gaggles of people that have descended on the city:

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