Tuesday, April 1, 2008

April foolings

Several amusing things happened to me today. Actually, several amusing things happened from me today between the hours of 6:00 and 7:00 pm. It was a very eventful hour.

I got onto the metro. I usually travel during rush hour, so I'm used to it. However, today was more crowded than usual (even for Metro Center). I got on the metro and found the perfect spot: leaning up against the glass divider. This is my preferred spot to stand because I can have both hands free (and not have on holding onto a pole) to read, change the song on my ipod, and other such important things. I have a very strict metro itinerary for myself: in the mornings I read the paper, and on the way home I read my book (currently "A Brief History of Time" by Stephen Hawking...it's a keeper, by the way).

Anyhow, just as I was about to pull out my book, I saw out of the corner of my eye, a rather large man approaching my door. He stepped into the train just as the doors were closing. DC metro doors wait for no man (believe me, I've seen people lose shoes and handbags to the doors). I hadn't realized that the "rather large" man was, in reality, enormous: I would guess close to 400 pounds. The doors started to close on him, so he made what appeared to be a split-second decision and launched himself through the closing doors onto the train...specifically, onto me.

I'm quite a small person. Consequently, when a 400 pound object launches itself/himself at me, the result isn't pretty. Picture me, absolutely smashed up against the glass divider with no room to move my arms or legs. Look of dismay/disgust/annoyance on my face (which happens to be plastered up against the glass). I think my hand was on the stiff looking business man's rear for the next three stops while I stood there unable to move from the uncomfortable predicament. It was not only uncomfortable due to the placement of my hand, nor my being smashed, but also because Mr. 400-pound-metro-launcher was hott and sweaty, and there was nothing I could do to get away from it.

I have never been so glad to get off the metro in my entire life. Lucky for me Rosslyn is only 4 stops from Metro Center. There may not have been much of me left if I had had to wait until Vienna to get off.

Come to think of it, there were lots of sweaty people on the metro today. I'm guessing it's because the temperature jumped about 20 degrees today so it was 70 degrees and rather humid outside. Alas, this is terrible public transportation weather. For recreation, thank goodness, it is perfect weather. I took a long jog ("yog" as Tom has told me) through Rosslyn, around the Iwo Jima Memorial a couple times, and then a long cool down through Arlington Cemetary. The view from the Iwo Jima Memorial is my absolute favorite view of the city. I have definitely fallen in love with DC.

Before I wax cheesey...

Back to my main point: Asians.

I live in a very touristy neighborhood since I live so close to Georgetown, the Iwo Jima Memorial and Arlington Cemetary. This provides me with an endless supply of gorgeous jogging options, but also provides an endless supply of gigantic tour busses filled with endless amounts of bustling tourists. I had to run through a gaggle of them this evening. I made the mistake of running down Wilson boulevard on the south side rather than the north. The south side (represent) is where the tour busses generally park.

There were three groups of tourist-mode Asians and a cross-walke between me and my apartment, but I was determined to get home as soon as possible because lunch was a long time ago and I was craving pasta roni (is there beginning to be a theme to my posts??). So, I dodged my way through the crowds, nearly hitting more than one tourist more than one time. AND, I don't think they even noticed anyone was trying to get by. Maybe I'd have had better luck if I spoke Japanese: "hello, runner here, on your right...hungry...MOVE." I made it home to my pasta roni though, so even though I was ready to pelt the tourists congregating in front of my apartment with spitballs when I got home, after I ate I felt more benevolent and decided to watch American Idol instead.

Almost too much excitement for one hour, don't you think? And on a Tuesday, too.


  1. Alright - I'm seriously your biggest fan. Remind me to tell you sometime how my brother almost lost his two year-old life to a woman who weighed about the same as your metro friend, when she fell on him in the kitchen at the church. Fo' real.

  2. I feel so bad about the overweight metro traveler man mishap! I'm glad you bounced back though.

    I am so jealous it is so warm there. Today the high here is like 27 degrees. I think it's time to move.