Thursday, June 26, 2008

Self-Esteem Generation.

If you told someone they were one in a million, you'd be saying there were 1,800 of them in China.

It always confused me why grade school teachers, self-help books and camp counselors are so preoccupied with everyone being 100% equal at everything.

You're all special.

You're all intelligent.

You're all artistic.

You're all 100% wonderful.

You all look so fabulous in yellow.

Seems to me that if everyone is 100% fantastic, then everyone is also 100% mediocre. When great is the norm, then doesn't that make "great" the same as "average"?

If everyone looks equally fabulous in yellow, then couldn't that also mean that everyone looks equally abysmal?

This, I believe, is the paradox of our self-esteem-centered culture.

Can't I just be happy being me? Do I really have to be as interesting, and therefore as boring as the next guy?

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Me going to love you long tim

It's green, go with it.
Destiny and I have been a year older for a month. That sentence doesn't make a lot of sense, but you know what I mean.
Our rooftop birthday party was a lot of fun. It included green cupcakes, granola bars, fruit and veggies, hummus...all the green food you can think of. Everyone's been having black and white parties, and we thought it would be funny to have a "green" party. Take it as you will. We sent out the invites without any specific instructions, hoping that people would either wear green or go green (hemp, organic etc.).
It was a success. The view was unbeatable, and the company was entertaining.
Only 11 months until the next birthday bash. Featuring: Bodymore, Murderland 2009?

Someday I'll appreciate in value...

Some Mondays are worse than others. Tomorrow is definitely not one of those "other" days.

There are some days when I feel quite useless at most things. Lately I've been having a lot of those days. I was really aiming to go out with a bang, but it seems I may be going out with a bust.


Last week I got three bruises at work. Physical bruises, I mean. I ran into two different cherry-wood desks (one of them twice). I am super coordinated. Well done.

This week I am aiming for less bruising and much less stress. I am not sure if that's possible. If there were 35 hours in a day, I probably still couldn't get everything done. Cloning's not an option either, so I guess I'm stuck.

At least there is Chez Hogan and its frozen yogurt with heath bar. I live for that stuff. As I've said before, I judge a day's quality by if/how many times I am able to eat ice cream.

Wish me luck...and strawberry frozen yogurt.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Tell that Mick he just made my list of things to do today.

Allie made me the most lovely hand-bound book for my birthday. It's long and skinny. For lists.

I have, therefore, decided on several lists to start. This is a list of lists:

1. Subjects to wiki. I am obsessed with wikipedia. I spend a lot of time reading about things that may or may not be useful to my self-education process. Lately I've read all about: Harry Reid, Qui Tam Litigation, Bob Jones College, Truman Capote, Harper Lee, Sylvia Plath, Stem Cell Research, University of Maryland and Analogical Modeling. I am now a wealth of useless knowledge.

2. Topics on which to blog. This list is perpetually in need of new additions. Luckily, fellow metro-ers provide me with many an entertaining story.

3. Books/Authors to read. This list, like a toddler, grows faster than I can keep up with. Right now I'm extremely interested in Tuman Capote and Sylvia Plath. Border-line obsession. I am systematically reading my way through their entire collections. Authors that I'm considering next: Dostoevsky and Balzac.

4. People to whom I'd like to give a piece of my mind. Self-explanatory. I've got opinions..ok?

5. Running tally of how many times I eat ice cream per day. You'd be surprised. I rate the success of a given day by how many times I was able to eat ice cream. Current favorite flavors of ice cream: World Class Chocolate (Baskin Robbins), Caramel Cone (Haagen Dazs), and Peanut Butter Galaxy (Maggie Moos).

6. Places to travel. Bottom line, I need to marry a sugar daddy. As long as he has a yacht I'm happy. To match my shoes, of course.

7. People for whom I still need to buy wedding/baby shower gifts. Having gone to BYU is very expensive in the springtime/summertime for me. I think everyone in the free world is getting married or pregnant right now. Just FYI all: you're getting a $5 spatula. and YOU WILL LIKE IT!

8. The Student Budget. List of things that I want to buy but can't now that school and debt are looming ahead. Paper-and-pen version of a slap on the wrist (thanks Ashton).

Hope this is what you had in mind for lists, Allie. You've inspired me.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Burning Bridges is a Form of Suicide.

I try to be as diplomatic as possible, as much of the time as possible.

This is not always possible.

For Blake, Anthony and Clinton, this is much less than always possible.

We had front-row-on-the-third-baseline tickets to the Orioles/Red Sox game on Saturday (thanks, Anthony!). The game was great. I mean, the game was greatest for the Red Sox fans (I would say that the stands were 80% full of Red Sox fans), and not quite as great for O's fans. Poor O's...were booed in their own ballpark...and were out-chanted by "Let's go Red Sox!" the entire time.

Manny Ramirez (sp?) hit his 500th home run. The fans went wild. 80% of the stadium errupted and flash blubs went off in every direction. Even the umpire was clapping for him ("Nice Job we know who you're really cheering for" - Blake).

Three rather drunk women ran up in front of us: screaming, cheering and generally going wild for the dreadlocked Ramirez. They turned around with gleeful looks on their faces and handed --actually tried to hand-- their camera to Anthony and Clinton:

"Take a Picture"

Shaking heads "nuh uh"

"You won't take our picture??!"

Still shaking heads and looking self-satisfied "No way."

Ladies look to Blake: "How about you"

Also satisfied with self "No thanks, not me"

Now angry with male O's fans. Look to me: "How about you?"

Unable to say no. Scared for life. Scared that burning this bridge would actually be a form of suicide...drunk, cat-fight suicide: shrugs... "Sure"

From then on out, any time the guys passed these three women on the way to get hot dogs (baseball hot dogs are the best!) the women would boo, hiss, and scream "Meany, meany, mean boys!!!".

Then I passed. "Oh, nice, nice girl. We like you!"

Bridge successfully in tact.

Photos: As Promised

Megan, Destiny and Me in our theater room, waiting for our next go at "Rock Band."

Michael, Me and Allison in front of our house.

Jiggleitalittleitllopen. Our favorite house in Duck Beach. Thanks for finding that one, Destiny.

Brandon, Destiny, Matt and Me in front of our house.

Destiny, Allison and Me: the Birthday girls!