Hilary "Just get on the Picadilly line to Cockfosters"
Me "Excuse me, what?"
"To Cockfosters"
"Hilary, we were just at church...let's use clean lanaguage"
Ok, so I may have tweaked that just a little bit, but when I first saw the sign to Cockfosters, I thought "you've got to be kidding me." (Plus, what good is it to experience something if you can't embellish the story a little bit in the re-telling?) First of all, who names a place Cockfosters. Second of all, should I really want to be heading there on a Sunday afternoon?
These questions, along with the following have been nagging at me for several days now. If anyone can provide answers, I would love your input.
Note: these next two questions are accompanied by CNN articles. So, if you're lazy or not into reading the news (however entertaining the news may be) then just stop here. Don't go on. I won't make you. Consider yourself duly warned.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/03/13/woman.in.bathroom.ap/index.html
Questions to consider:
A. Who are these people?
B. Where do they come from?
C. Why are they allowed to procreate?
D. True or False, Kansas should not exist.
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/03/10/britain.weather/index.html
Questions to consider/ interesting anecdotes:
A. Two weeks ago there was an earthquake in the middle of the night. I was still at work. Don't worry though, because the floor had already been spinning for several hours and I didn't even feel the earthquake.
B. Gale force winds almost blew me over on the way to work. It's a five minute walk, and I had an umbrella, but I still ended up soaked by the time I got to the office.
C. This same day, a lady threw herself under an oncoming metro and killed herself, resulting in day-long delays. Some people will do anything to get out of their morning meetings, I guess.
D. What is the world coming to?
E. True or False: America was probably having better weather at the time.
F. Is death really better than morning meetings?
G. Or maybe she was just on the Picadilly line going to Cockfosters, and just couldn't take it anymore.
A) "They had conversations and had an otherwise normal relationship -- except it all happened in the bathroom." I swear these people don't really exist, and if they do, they're somewhere our passports won't allow us to go. Thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteB) I feel blessed not to be a news photographer. Case in point, the picture of the gigantic waves coming right for the coast. "Um, I think it's probably a good idea for us to get going..."
How is it there is only one comment for this hilarious post?? And how is it that the woman who sits on her boyfriend's toilet for two years... HAS A BOYFRIEND??? I mean you've got all the fabulous shoes and Heaven knows all my fabulousnesses (can that be a word?)... if only I would've known the toilet trick sooner... Why didn't someone mention it before I turned 32?
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