Lately, Georgetown has really stepped up its so-called Green Initiative. I like to think of it as more of a Guilt Initiative.
Three weeks ago they changed the signage on all garbage bins. There are double-bin units all over the place that used to say - discreetly- "garbage" and "recycling." Now those same bins read in big, bold letters, "RECYCLING" and "LANDFILL."
Geeze. That's enough to make me want to wear a nylon stocking over my face to mask my identity every time I throw something in there.
And just when I'm recovering from the guilt at having contributed to the landfill problem and the eventual ecological downfall of our entire planet, I wander into the bathroom where the towel dispenser is stocked with horrible, thin, useless paper towels. The type where you have grab a handful in order to do any true hand-drying.
But three weeks ago, along with the landfill signage, came stickers on every paper towel dispenser that says, authoritatively, "Remember, these come from trees!"
Now, I'm all in favor of saving trees, preserving the rain forests and whatnot, but I also need to have dry hands after I used the restroom at work. I do not want to wipe my hands on my business casual, and I definitely don't want to leave droplets on my keyboard.
Sometimes, when I'm in a really spiteful mood and feeling particularly emotionally manipulated by the Guilt Initiative, I'm tempted to take my large handful of used paper towels out into the hall to throw them specifically into the LANDFILL. But I don't. Because, gosh darn it, the Guilt Initiative actually works.