Friday, October 19, 2012

Hannah at The Nail Bar

Blake's been out of town for work a lot lately, so I've had to find ways to keep myself entertained.

I was pretty exhausted after work yesterday, and after making it through the 60-person sit-down dinner I planned this past week, I figured I deserved a little pampering.  So I treated myself to a pedicure at my favorite place.  I picked out the perfect wine-red color (the color this fall, I've been told) and settled down in the massage chair to oogle my Crate & Barrel holiday catalogue and enjoy the foot massage.

My nail technician (is that what they're called?) didn't speak good English, but she was very emphatic on trying to up-sell me on various beautifying procedures.  In fact, her method of up-selling made me feel rather fugly:

Pointing to my face: "You want me to clean up your eyebrows?"

What?  Are they really that bad?  Thanks, but no thanks, I'm not letting you anywhere near my brows. 

Reaching for my nail-bitten hands and clucking in disapproval: "You need manicure."  Not said as a question, but as a fact.

Great.  My hands are grotesque, too.  What next?  Is she going to suggest that she wax my upper lip? 

Pumice-stoning my rough feet: "How many times you get pedicure?"

"Um, I dunno, two times a year I guess?"

Clucking again with disapproval and looking around to see if anyone else had heard my answer: "ONLY TWO TIMES?!"  Smug laughing.  Shaking her head.  "You only come two times?" 

Ok lady, so I don't want to spend $20.00 a month getting my toes shined.  Sue me.  I'm cheap.

At this point she then calls all her colleagues over to tell them (in what I think was Thai) all about how I only get pedicures twice a year.  They all proceeded to shake their heads in disapproval and give me looks of pity. 

So now I'm ugly and unkempt.  Perfect. 

I'd had about all I could take of Hannah and her high-pitched insults, so I dove back into the lovely retail world of red waffle makers and holiday-shaped marshmallows.  Besides, what does she know anyway?


  1. You'll be able to afford more at Crate & Barrel with only two pedicures a year. I'd say that's a better place for money. And if it makes you feel better, I've had a pedicure twice... in my life.

  2. i once had a pedicurist tell me i need to wax my arms. "why you no wax, it summer"

    1. Hahaha. Oh, what we go through at nail salons...if the foot massage weren't so good, there'd be very little incentive to go get insulted.