Tuesday, August 26, 2008

No weapons beyond this security checkpoint

Airports are fascinating.

I wonder, sometimes, why the signs in airports say exactly the things they say.

For example: While standing in the security line in the Salt Lake City airport several weeks ago, I noticed a sign, which stated in bold letters "No weapons beyond this security checkpoint." This made me think "so you're saying that weapons are alright to have in the airport as long as they're discarded at the end of the line?"

Right next to this sign was a poster with large pictures illustrating what you're not allowed to bring in your carry-on luggage: handguns, grenades, dynamite, automatic weapons, hunting knives...

...Guess you'd better keep your grenades in your check-through luggage...

Another reason why airports are so fascinating:

Their decor.

I have to question the sanity of the interior designers of most airports.

This time, though, I am thinking of one airport in particular: Detroit.

A couple of weeks ago, on my way from SLC to Manchester, New Hampshire, I had my first experience walking through the drug-trip terminal of the Detroit international airport.

There is a large, underground tunnel from one terminal to the next. Instead of leaving the tunnel plain, and lighting it conventionally with florescent overhead lights, the design team went above-and-beyond (or maybe below-and-beyond, as it were) the call of duty. The picture below doesn't quite do it justice.

I entered the tunnel wondering why Detroit had ripped off the "Small World" ride at Disneyland. Two steps later and I felt like I had entered the boat tunnel in the 70's version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Five steps after that and all I wanted to do was get out of there.

I've never been on drugs, but I can only assume that it's the same feeling you'd get after doing mushrooms and listening to The Beatles' "Yellow Submarine" album.

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