Friday, April 12, 2013

Of Biblical Proportions

It has recently come to my attention that we're expecting the once-every-17-years plague of cicadas this summer.  And you know what?  Now that I know they're coming, it's like some sort of horrible waiting game.  Sort of like a slasher film when you know the guy with the mask will show up at any point, but you can't do anything to prevent it (because, after all, it IS a slasher film).  Yes. Like that. Except with these terrifying bugs: 



Look at those beady red eyes!  The horror, the horror!

My reading has confirmed that these suckers will show up as soon as the ground temperature reaches 64 degrees.  Then they'll crawl out of their subterranean bug villas and descend upon us like a plague straight out of the Bible.

How exactly does one test the ground temperature?  And is it worth doing, or should I just accept my fate? 

Blake said that in 1996 they were so plentiful that he had to scrape them off the car before getting in.  And that you can't help but step on them.  And that when they die (all at once, apparently) you have to rake their carcasses just like you would a pile of old leaves.

In conclusion, I'd advise all you unsuspecting interns planning to come to the DC area this summer to do one thing: turn and run back to where you came from.  Escape while you still can.
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12 comments:

  1. JanelleApril 12, 2013 at 10:06 PM

    Gross. This makes me gag.

    Logan says there are all sorts of cicada recipes. Chocolate covered cicadas maybe?

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    1. RachelApril 15, 2013 at 9:57 AM

      My colleague said that a lot of the fancy restaurants in town added special cicada offerings to their menus in 1996...nothing sounds worse to me than going to a fancy restaurant and ordering cicadas(especially when they can be had for free on the sidewalk - er, I'm cheap)...

      Delete
  2. MegApril 13, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    I'm beside myself.

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  3. Spencer and JuliaApril 13, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    Ok. That is really horror movie-esq. But you still might need to take pictures to further horrify those of us who are at a safe distance. Shudder.

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    1. RachelApril 15, 2013 at 9:58 AM

      Oh. Believe me. There will be disgusting photos galore. And you can be proud of yourself that you moved away just in time.

      Delete
  4. maeveApril 14, 2013 at 8:28 PM

    stop it.

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    1. RachelApril 15, 2013 at 9:58 AM

      I know! It's like the end of the world is coming!

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  5. JaneApril 14, 2013 at 11:43 PM

    And I thought the crickets were pretty bad here in Texas this fall...that sounds HORRIFIC! Please tell me they are not coming out any time soon...as in...in the next week? Which brings me to my next point - my mother-in-law just booked a really impromptu trip to D.C. for this weekend and Alex and I are going along with her (frequent flier miles for the win)!

    Any chance you might be around and want to grab a bite to eat (not cicada related)? I'm not sure what our exact plans are yet but we'll be in town Friday - Tuesday. Email me if you are up to it! janefwilson@gmail.com

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    1. RachelApril 15, 2013 at 9:59 AM

      Crickets are awful, too. Are they the ones that jump super high? Nothing is worse than those...shudder.

      I would LOVE to grab a non-cicada-related bite this weekend. I'll shoot you an email pronto. Can't wait to see you!

      Delete
  6. cardon and whitneyApril 16, 2013 at 10:35 PM

    Oh the bugs in Georgia were just as bad. I would definitely brave those if I had a trip planned to see you!!

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  7. DestinyApril 22, 2013 at 8:12 PM

    This totally creeps me out. I am hoping the worst is during my 2 week trip to Utah in May.

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