Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Percentages

I pick the wrong line at the supermarket 87.9% of the time. Today I spent twenty minutes in line behind a family that looked like they were from Texas, and looked like they could have eaten the entire contents of their over-flowing cart in one sitting. In fact, the lady working at the checkstand was confused/bewildered that she had to ring up several candy bar wrappers and empty pepsi cans due to the hunger that just couldn't wait during their meandering up and down the aisles.

100% of the time something completely random and interesting happens to me in transit between my apartment and my office. Today after work I decided to walk halfway home rather than take the metro. It finally stopped raining (first time in 48 hours) and I wanted to enjoy the sunshine. One block out of the office and I meet my first "experience." A sketchy-looking man, smoking a joint, came up to me: "excuse me, miss." He looked straight into my eyes and handed me a flower. Not a rose. Not a long-stem tulip. Some kind of flower that he had picked from one of the planters along the street. I don't exactly love pansies, but thanks, Chester.

Ice cream is a good idea 99.8% of the time. Meaning: I can and will eat it all day, and roughly 49.8% of the remaining day that constitutes the night.

Road trips to Baltimore are 110% successful when accompanied by a large group of friends. I think what added the extra 10% was, in fact, the fascist family who ran the drive-in movie. "You want to hear inconsiderate and rude? I'll give you inconsiderate and rude! (taking down the license plate number)". So, even though I didn't enjoy the Spiderwick Chronicles, I fully enjoyed myself and my ability to survive the freezing cold temperateres that accompanied the Baltimore extravaganza.

With me, blogging only consistently occurs 25.3% of the time. Well done, Rach, well done. I am hoping to get my numbers up to 67.33% here fairly soon. I'm going to need a 112% increase of Pasta Roni intake.

3 comments:

  1. I've totally done the eat-before-you-buy-but-still-buy thing at the grocery store... but only like 4% of the time.

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  2. You are hilarious, Rach. I kept giggling the whole time I read your entry. Poor mom.

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  3. I loved this post 100% of the time.

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